The letter

Work is so slow!

Well it has been 3 days since I gave Kristen "the letter"... and nothing not a word! I dont know... she came home the other day and started cleaning the kitchen. So maybe she got the hint... I dont know... she is driving me crazy not saying anything!

Well Bill this is the letter:


Kristen,

Our living situation has to change. I know that we are both at fault for it getting this bad. I love you so much and this is such a great opportunity to spend time together. We will never get this chance again. After this we will be going our separate ways and I just want this to change so we can make the most of it.
I don’t think you should have to wait to come home till I am asleep, and I don’t want to come home to empty house and stress all the time. I have been giving this a lot of thought which is stressing me out. I can only handle so much, I can’t be stressing over you and Bill at the same time, that is just too much for me deal with. Therapy and pills can only do so much.
So we need to formulate a plan, a plan for the bills, and for the cleaning. I think if we do that then we would know what is expected of us.
I understand that you don’t make a whole lot of money, but that’s where money managing and cutting back on thing comes in. As far as bills go we will both have to get our own separate money orders and I will no longer be putting it all on my card. Rent needs to be ready and dropped off by at least the 5th. Now for utilities we can still do the money order thing but we have to mail it in which means once we get the bills we have to get the money orders and mail them out right away. I will no longer be putting them on my card.
In regards to the cleaning in the apartment, all I am asking is that you clean up after yourself. It shouldn’t be a big deal if you clean, it should be a normal thing. If you want to divide up the chores and have a set chore list I am game for that.
This is just what I was thinking but I would love to just sit down and discus what you think we should do. I love you and let me know when you want to sit down and talk.

Samantha.


So we will see what happens!

Hooray camping this weekend!

Again!

So the doctor said that I have a stomach infection! Hooray... I am still trying to get over the Intestinal Tract viral Infection!!! And the other one there is nothing we can do but wait.... AWESOME!!!!! Whateva... I am string and will get through this ongoing sickness of mine...

Crapy day!

I am sick...again...

I spent the better part of yesterday running back and fourth from the toilet and my desk... loads of fun! I finally convinced myself that I needed to go home at 4:00pm... and on the way... I had to stop... and the only place I could find to stop was the ghetto Burger King... I am pretty sure there was still pee in the toilet that I threw up in... AWESOME!!! I finally got home around 5:00pm and I just went straight to my bed and sleep. I was up and down again trying to throw up but there was nothing to throw up.. once again AWESOME!!! I finally just fell asleep and didn't wake up till about 6:15am. Which was good because in all the fuss I forgot to set my alarm.


I still feel like crap today... so I am leaving in 10 minutes to go to the doctor. And then who knows... I have to stay at work till 2:00pm the girl covering the phone has a lunch date. But then depending on how I feel I might just go home and rest. We will see what the doctor says...

I am also going to get my dosage of Prozac changed.

Nothing much

Not sure why I am posting anything... nothing is really new...

I have been talking to Bill more which is good.

Tips training was last night... gay... everything I already knew... it's cool... FREE concerts!

Work is stressful and sucks...

I miss Bill...

Kristen's tab is now up to $422.65! Woohoo!

I still haven't talked to her yet but I think I am going to start writing the letter today...

And umm ya..

That's about it...!

What a weekend...

So I left straight from work on Friday and decided to take a new way to Yuma. This way was shorter and much prettier! I had made myself very clear to Sarah that I wanted nothing to do with Jason I didn't even want to see him! I told her that over and over and over again... and what does she do... invites him to dinner with us that night. **sigh** Then on Saturday we woke up early and headed to Sarah's salon so she could paint my toe nails. Then I had a facial appointment that Sarah made me... now let me tell you about this facial! I was in heaven!! She massaged my arms and shoulders and neck and rubbed my face... oh man did it feel good. I love to get massaged and I haven't had a massage since October 12!

I miss Bill...

Anyways... so when I was done I went back to Sarah's house to get Corey so we could go pick up Jace from his Grandpa's house. I love him! He is so freakn cute!!! Once we had him we decided to get some food and kill some time till Sarah got off work, so we went around and looked at used cars for Corey and all that fun stuff. Then headed back to the house so Corey could start getting ready for work. About 1:00pm I went to pick Sarah up and then she showed me this new location they are trying to get for salon. This place was perfect! I really how she gets it. As we were heading home and planning our evening we got a call from Corey saying that work didn't need her to come in... so we went home and picked her up then did a bit of shopping. After Jace's attitude took a turn for the worse we decided to go get a movie and call it a night. We rented "A Night with the King"!!! I love that movie! They all fell asleep but I stayed up and watched the whole thing... :) I made the mistake of trying to sleep in the same room with Jace... not a good idea! I moved and he would wake up and start crying! So I had to pick him up and hold him and rock him back to sleep and after about 5 times of doing this... I went and woke Corey up... So very tired me had to wake up early again... Ryan (Jace's sperm doner) called and wanted to talk and see Jace. So we decided to meet him at the park. We dropped Corey and Jace off... and 10 min late Ryan shows up... He stays for about 30 minutes and doesn't want to talk about anything! GRRRRRR!!!!! Whatever... So then we went to Wal-Mart to get some stuff because we were headed to the river... Then I find out we are going with none other then... JASON! So I got to spend the whole day with Jason and Sarah and Jace and all Jason stupid friends... OK they weren't stupid... just Jason! Then on my way home come to find out I still have Jace's car seat in my car and then the I-10 was shut down!

It was a long weekend... and a lot of me depressed and miss Bill...

I am counting down till June!

Rochelle is 21!!!!

Hahahahaha last night was a good time had by all!

Rochelle got drunk!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I will be laughing about this night for years to come!

Karaoke Bar + Liquor = an AWESOME time!

I was the DD so no worries...Bill I was a good... ; )

I can't wait till Bill comes home and I get to get him drunk too!! woohoo!!
Be scared Bill ask Chelle I am a little good at getting people drunk... :D
It's a hidden talent of mine... ; )

Surprisingly I am not the least bit tired... which is good I am helping Kristen out tonight at her work... we will see how long I can handle taking direction from her...

I miss you Bill if you read this one...

And Chelle I love you and I am sorry...!

Another poem...

Yet another poam I have come across...

I am a Proud Army Wife
For all of you who wake up in the morning,
lay there for a few moments,
trying to swallow the sick feeling
in the pit of your stomach
as you wonder where your Soldier is,
or how he's doing...this is for you.
For all of you who start a countdown
the minute he leaves,
and continue to until he is back
in your arms again...this is for you.
For all of you who tear up every time
"Far Away" comes on the radio,
or who press repeat when
"Come Home Soon" plays in their car...
this one's for you.
For all of you who see Army billboards,
ads in the paper, or commercials on TV
and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks,
this is for you.
This is for you.
I am one of you too.
This is for us.
For all the times we sleep
with our phones on the
loudest possible volume,
just as to not miss the
call that just MIGHT come...
For all the times we
roll our eyes when another
girl is depressed because
she hasn't seen her guy in a week...
For all the times we hear our
Soldier's name mentioned out loud,
and are momentarily frozen...
in a trance...in love.
For all the late nights that we spend alone,
cuddling with our stuffed animals,
wearing our Army
sweatshirts and sweatpants,
and clutching the precious dog tags
around our necks...
This one's for us.
We may feel weak on the inside,
but on the outside we're strong.
We may be drowning in tears on the inside,
but on the outside, we are a rock.
We may want to crawl in bed and sleep
until our man comes home, but instead,
we get up and go on with our daily lives
with our men in our hearts.
We may feel like we're slowly
dying with each day we spend
apart from our men, but instead,
we put one foot infront of the other,
and take each day as it comes.
We are strong, and we are proud.
We have more love in our hearts
than we ever thought possible,
and for this, we are thankful.
We are thankful for our men
and also for each other.
We are Army gals, and we
lean on each other.
Alone we are weak, but together,
we are strong.
We help each other, and we survive. . .


I like this one...

Poems...

So I have come across a few poems I would like to share...

::cough::

Loving a SOLDIER isn't
always what they say.
& loving him is a
high price to pay.
It's mostly loving
with nothing to hold.
It's being young
yet feeling so old.
Remember he's thinking
Of you everyday.
He's sad & lonely
from being away.
So love him, miss him,
And know he is saying
"I just want to hold her..."
& always be proud
To love your SOLDIER.


I cry way to much...

::cough::

Give me the greatness of heart to see,
The difference between duty and his love for me.
Give me the understanding so that I may know
When duty calls him, he must go.
Give me a task to do each day,
To fill the time while he is away.
When he's in a foreign land,
Keep him safe in your loving hand.
And Lord, when duty is in the field,
Please protect him and be his shield.
And Lord, when deployment is so long,
Please stay with me and keep me strong.

::tear::

I love these poems, they make me sad but they hit dead on what I feel...

hide under my covers...

Well it's only 8:27 and I have already had a bad day and I am ready to go hide under my covers...

So I think I have decided that I need to have a coming to Jesus conversation with Kristen... and just tell her she needs to step up or get out. We will see how that goes...

I miss Bill...

Therapy tonight... first one...

blah blah blah...

Back to work I guess...

Flooded...

I have had a bad weekend and this day... not starting off so hot.

So I got off work early on Friday and went straight home to my flooded house! The people above us left a sink running and it ended up draining down into our apt. fun fun... So I have to deal with all the different contractors and the "mold" issue.

Saturday was the Anders family Easter party, that was fun. My parents came and we just hung out and talked and watched the kids, it was nice.

Sunday was stressful... Kristen and I were fighting again... shocker right! Then after church and lunch I get this text that Chelle car was broken into. So I called her and for the first time int eh 6 years I have known her I heard her cry. So I automatically jump into best friend and bolt over there to try and cheer her up... so ya... suckage for her. Then we ended up going to her Grandma's house for a little Easter fun. That was fun it was crazy hot out thou... but that's cool better then sitting at home with Kristen!

Then that brings us to Monday...cried all the way to work...then checked my my space and this is what I found "I didn't get much sleep last night. We got attacked yet again. I heard a boom and rocks started falling onto my room. That's close. I was in the bunker wearing my PT pants, no shirt, and the bunny ears you sent. I didn't have time to take them off." I am so scared and just so depressed when I hear thing like this. I just can't imagine my life without Bill in it. I miss him.

We are still counting on June for his R&R so that's coming up.

Life sucks right now...

Well yet another weekend...

Well yet another weekend has gone by and still don't feel rested... what happened to "the day of rest"? I would love to just sit at home and rest on a Sunday after noon that would be awesome! But no... I was up at 6:00am and wide freakn' awake! I guess all in all my weekend was ok... Saturday was Michael and Bearette's birthday party... that was ok as well. I held babies all day long, then I just went to my parents house for the night and then scrapbooking on Sunday...

Ever since I have started to take these new pills I have had a really hard time sleeping at night and staying asleep... which sucks because I am even more tired then I normally am...

life sucks...

Kristen owes me $350.00 and rent is due this week... I hope she can pay it...

Hooray I finally paid off one of my credit cards!!!! Next is the Best Buy credit card!!!

I think I am going to try and start taking Belly dancing lessons with Janice on Thursday nights... maybe we will see :)

I am hungry... mMmMmMm BBQ chip at 8:21 in the morning!

Yup so here's to the next week... we will see how it pans out...